I am a blogger and I was a spiritual seeker. I had a tremendous awakening experience in July 12, 2014 on a Gurupurnima day in the presence of Sadhguru but I wouldn’t call that as spiritual enlightenment.

I have a reason for it. When I use the word ‘enlightenment’, it only points to a concept you have about enlightenment in your mind. But what happened to me blew my mind and it was nowhere related to whatever I thought about enlightenment.

The words like ecstasy, bliss or peace are not the right words to describe the reality that I am living in right now. Thats why Lao Tzu said ‘The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao’.. The more complicated theories are used to describe the absolute reality, the less they sound like the experience of it. My seeking completely ended in 2014. There was nothing to seek anything any longer.

But remember, I don’t like to say that I am enlightened. I usually avoid that word. Because what happened to me can’t fit with thousands of definitions which are available for enlightenment and thousands of concepts that people have about it.

But this much is true: I feel complete, satisfied and one with existence without any duality, without a sense of an ‘other’. There is no feeling of an independent existence; I feel limitless with absolutely no conflict and my life flows like a river. I still retain imperfections, my genetic traits and I am completely fallible. This way of living is quite ordinary and simpler than how enlightenment is usually described. There is an innocence of child in my experience of consciousness.

When anyone asks me about it, I usually just describe what happened to me instead of associating it with a word. And Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev’s many comments on enlightenment sound quite foreign to my reality. The way I perceive the reality agrees with what Osho said (after weeding out the contradictory statements and mainly based on what he spoke in his final years) . It perfectly agrees with the core of Vedanta and Buddhism.

You can read my story here: The Journey of a Seeker – My Story

I am a fan of Osho and Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev. I have attended Shambhavi mahamudra and Bhava Spandana program. But I don’t agree with everything that Sadhguru or Osho say. I realized that a human being is always fallible, whether enlightened or not.

I am interested in Psychology and I have been studying it as a hobby. I think there is a possibility to bridge Science and Spirituality. I have written about it in detail here: Is There a Scientific Evidence for Spiritual Enlightenment?

I write poems in English and Tamil.

The following part is the older version of ‘About’, which I wrote as an introduction to this blog when I first started it in January 2014:

Hi, I am Shanmugam. Welcome to my own personal blog, my very own personal space on the internet.

I have tried maintaining several blogs and websites in the past but was not able to be consistent in posting and updating, even though I have the basic knowledge about blogging, SEO, web development and more.. I learnt Php and MySQL a few years before with the help of some training videos from Lynda.com. I even created an inventory application in PHP and made that to run in a Windows XP machine where I had Apache web server, MySQL and PHP installed. OK!! That’s too much of technical stuff, and some of you might have decided to close this and go back but wait!!

I just wanted to say that in spite of this basic knowledge and a lot of time I had in the past to manage a successful website online and to even earn money from it, I had to drop my little projects in the middle due to bad economy.. All those times I was trying all the premium stuffs like my own domain name, shared hosting and more (was even earning some money with Google AdSense)… And every time I failed to pay my credit card bills for more than the allowed time, I ended up getting these services suspended because they couldn’t withdraw my monthly fee. I am tired of all that and have decided to go with the free services.

I like writing. It is my passion. From my school days, I have tried to write short stories, essays and a lot of poetry too. I enjoy creative writing more than writing about anything else. I have tried to write for money, and have even earned some money but at one point it went too commercial.. Because, every time I decided to write an article, I started to first look for the keywords to target, expected daily views and the possible money I could earn in the long run.

But, having an independent personal blog and writing in it for the pure joy of writing is more satisfying thing to do. I can share my views about anything, publish my poetry and upload the pictures I took with my own little personal camera when I go for trekking or an excursion. More importantly, I become known to more people and it is a sure fire way to become popular. I can write about something interesting, about my friends and personal life, my achievements, what I learnt from my mistakes and failures, my views towards religion and self-realization and more. I can even make it look like an elaborate online resume of mine or a record of my works.

I already created a recent blog about my trekking and travelling experiences in Nilgiri hills. It is at http://nilgirisphotography.wordpress.com. I haven’t updated it in a while but I am looking forward to my next trip so that I can create a new post there soon.

My first language is Tamil, one of the oldest languages still spoken by millions of people in India, Sri Lanka, Singapore and Malaysia. I love Tamil literature and enjoyed the classical Tamil works right from the school days. I have written a lot of poetry in Tamil. Some of them are in modern style and some of them are in classical style like Venba, Aasiriyappa, Aruseer virutham, Enseer virutham etc.. (These are similar to the metres in English like Iambic Pentameter and Sonnets. I have written some sonnets and a couple of poems in Iambic Pentameter in English too. I will talk more about them in my later posts). Most of those are just in papers and I have never tried to publish them online or as books. Before It gets too late, I want to make sure that all those poems are somewhere on the internet for ever so that anybody who likes to read poetry may stumble upon it at anytime while surfing casually on the internet. Now that I have started this blog, I realise that it is going to be more easier because I can use this very blog to post those poems too. So, this blog is going to be bilingual as I will occasionally write some posts in Tamil and post them as well.

On top of all this, I will make sure that this blog is interesting enough to the readers by sharing other funny or useful things that I come across including jokes, pictures and more…

Okay, that was just a little background and introduction to this blog. If you have finished reading this far, then thank you for showing serious interest in what I have to say! Hope you will support this blog by reading and commenting, which will be a good motivation for me to post continuously and maintain this blog well.


31 thoughts on “About”

  1. Mr. Shanmugam – Your posts in Quora on Sadguru vs Osho comparisons have successfully digressed my mind from the AWS Solutions Architect exam I’m preparing for 🙂
    Great analysis! After reading your posts I think the best thing to know the truth, is to seek the truth and find it out yourself than believing everything that comes your way.
    I think the purpose of human life is to constantly seek the truth ..and I think the journey ends when you find that absolute truth!


  2. Hi Shanmugam, I liked your clarity in your posts on quora. I spend a lot of time thinking and reading about connection between science and enlightenment. Wanted to connect with you sometime and ask questions. Please let me know your email. Mine is ashwinshankar77@gmail.com.



  3. HI Shanmugam. I really appreciate your experience and science based approach on self realization. i am also walking on my own path. would love to connect with you. Kindly advise on your email or fb?

    Thanks a lot


    Liked by 1 person

  4. Hi
    I came across your blog a while back. And I must say that its very comprehensively researched. Although I am yet to go through much of the posts, I want to take the liberty of asking you two very specific things here
    1) I read about your journey as a seeker. And especially that phase of your life around and before 2004 when you were going through a lot of discomfort/suffering perhaps. Without wanting to reveal too much as of now, I have been going through this almost similar phase for the last 2 years at least. There has been a lot of mental trauma, unending questions, restlessness and all those things. I have been reading about spirituality but nothing concrete stuff. At this phase, which book would you suggest that could be beneficial for someone new on this path of spirituality which I intend to take. Something which could makes me less restless about my questions regarding spirituality/meditation/enlightenment. It could be any book- Be it Osho’s /Buddhist/Western Author. Are the books listed on your blog good for beginners? Is there any particular Osho book you recommend?
    2) Secondly, in your experience, can Astrology help in spiritual growth. I have read some amazing insights about myself in Astrology some time back regarding my self-destructive patterns and my need to tread a disciplined spiritual path. What has been your experience regarding Astrology being a tool to help you progress, if any? I know for sure that Osho has been positive about the potential benefit of Astrology in one of his posts. Although most other spiritual masters have more often than not negated it, from what I know.
    Thanks a lot
    I will try to stay connected with you in future too.


    1. Thank you for your comment.. Just go to this page: https://nellaishanmugam.wordpress.com/recommended-books/recommended-books-spiritual-only/ , if you scroll down to the bottom, you can find two books of Osho, which are the ones that I would recommend.. Both of them are good and will be very useful at this stage for you…

      I am not sure why you think astrology will be helpful for spiritual growth.. What insights did you get from astrology? I haven’t found astrology to be useful for my spiritual journey at anytime.. 🙂


      1. Thank you !!!

        One of our friend formed a WhatsApp group, there many of us are learning about non duality and practice it.
        Even some realizedpersons are in group.
        One of our friend sent an email to you year ago and he said no reply from you.!!!

        he told that today, when I forwarded your blog link and quora link to group.

        It will be blessing for many of us, if you guide some of us with your knowledge and experience.


        1. Good to know… I don’t use Whatsapp or even the phone too much. Most of the time, I spend my time writing stuff in my work PC. Once I get up from the PC, I get caught up with daily chores and unfortunately I am not even able to respond to all the emails and messages I receive.

          But if you have any questions on anything, you can use the contact form to message me. I will reply as much as possible. If your question is regarding any of the blog posts, you can also comment there with any question you have.


  5. Just a question – I remember Sadhguru talking a little bit about his enlightenment experience on Chamundi hill – it sounds just like what a lot of people described. In fact if there is one thing that Sadhguru doesn’t actually talk about, it is the actual enlightenment experience itself – I’ve never found anything by him that actually talks of it. Any idea of enlightenment or the ultimate needs to be dropped to perceive it as it is. You definitely touched what he called the ‘anandamaya’

    There was one person who did the original 90 day wholeness program with him – he essentially remembered how his mind went utterly thoughtless and he stayed there with no thoughts. Then as soon as he started wondering how this was possible, that was the first thought that arose.

    Now regarding your point that enlightened souls aren’t totally infallible, that’s actually true – actually Paramahamsa Yogananda did get to experience enlightenment, but after he came back down to earth, his guru continued to dissect him for any error. The body is after all, human and it will die when its time is up. He did say though that never had he been so alive as he had been when he split from a body. He was no ordinary yogi. Even before he met his guru, he had many a spiritual experience and yet that was still not the ultimate. It took a while even after this to retain the experience permanently.


    There is one person called Gopi Krishna, who has written a most fascinating account of his own experience with an accidental Kundalini awakening and how over 12 years his system was completely transformed, with some severe and unexpected setbacks along the way. I wonder if you read it.

    Click to access kundalini-the-evolutionary-energy-in-man_gopi-krishna_(89pg).pdf

    I skip the commentary written by the foreigners – that’s all speculative IMHO. But the author’s own first hand experience is simply unbelievable. He does admit that while what he touched has no limits, his brain is limited to what it can absorb. There were some severe issues though because his body was not properly prepared for this. He wrote of the ‘complete role reversal’ between what he thought was ‘him’ and the universe.

    I also happen to know someone who experienced that exploding into everything at 20 and that was not the end of his adventures though — he flows way beyond concepts. He told me that the techniques are in one way, a joke. They are all there for the body and mind to align themselves and get out of the way. One remarkable thing he wrote was how in the experience, his mind comes ‘alive’ and tries to analyze it, only for him to clearly see these are just thoughts. I know, he just drops a hint or two and it’s not fair for me to speak, that is very misleading – best to hear it straight from the horse’s mouth. The experience is permanently unfolding in unlimited ways all the time, nothing to seek, nowhere to go. He’s totally down to earth and yet so many things happen when I am in his presence or just talking to him.

    Now to me personally, when I recently did the Inner Engineering programme, the first thing I learnt was to be aware that I was responding to everything even unconsciously and just witness it consciously. When I did that, I was totally into a zone for hours and I have never felt such clarity and aliveness. All I can say is that “I and my mental chopper” was out of the way though I never became a zombie. It is a very simple teaching – just witnessing.

    I don’t mind too much about what Sadhguru says on social media or all that — all this is irrelevant noise to me. The work he’s doing and the impact he’s made in people’s lives is what matters. I won’t even be surprised if all this is just what he needs to accumulate and do to stop his body from going.


    1. Thank you for your comments… Whatever you said sounds totally true… “The experience is permanently unfolding in unlimited ways all the time, nothing to seek, nowhere to go”.. This is exactly how my life is. It is as if there is no today and tomorrow even though I know that they come. When people ask me questions related to time, like ‘how long has it been since a particular thing happened’, I always have a problem in recollecting it and a lot of times I am wrong.

      I will go through the links you shared when I am free. 🙂


      1. It also sounds like the experience of Abhinava Vidyatheertha Swamigal. He got established in tranquility so much that his guru had to stop him from leaving his body, because work remained for him in the world.

        His experience is recorded here : https://mokshaclub.files.wordpress.com/2015/10/yep.pdf

        The most interesting part is the last one :

        (Acharyal:) To implement Acharyal’s directives, I ignored the prevailing disinterest and revised My Tarka lessons. Over the next week, I gradually regenerated the interest in śāstraic studies that had vanished. Acharyal graciously expedited the process by intensely examining My progress and chiding Me on any inadequacies.

        Displaying emotional responses proved tougher to achieve. The mind felt just peace and bliss and the emotions that had been so readily experienced in the past seemed no more than a vague, distant dream. Laughable though it sounds, the sādhanā that followed the vision of Śiva was simpler and smoother than learning afresh to display anger or anxiety. (Pointing to Himself and laughing:) This short-tempered tiger was a very gentle cow at that time!

        The friend I know also told me that — he had to learn to act ‘normal’ again and it was quite an art to master. Having dropped all the baggage, the trick was to learn to wear it all back, but this time with awareness again as necessary for dealing with his life. As Yogananda put it “When I see that God wants me to be born again in another body to help others, and when I see that I am to reassume a personality, it seems at first a bit like donning an overcoat on a summer day: hot, and a bit itchy. Then,” he concluded casually, “I get used to it.” 🙂

        The one thing though is I don’t get it your reason for posting so much on what Sadhguru says and does, his followers notwithstanding – that IMHO is not really the most important part of it at all.


        1. The answer to the last question first:

          If I look back whatever happened in the last two years, it is so unbelievable to me… I could have never even dreamed that I would end up dissolving into existence. Regarding Sadhguru, it happened just like that and I never dreamed I would be writing about him either. One thing led to another and every action was just spontaneous. That is all I can say… Action happens without a sense of ownership and it is little difficult to really answer the why questions..

          Thank you for sharing information regarding Abhinava Vidyatheertha Swamigal. It sounds very familiar too. I haven’t heard about him but I went through a similar transition period for the next 4 years. I had to learn even basic manners in the beginning because I wasn’t worried about anything at all those days. It was just like being a kid. But I never felt like I had to do it to stop myself from leaving the body as it was the case with him.

          In fact, the rebirth that the following verse conveys seems to be a description of what I went through:

          Jesus replied, “Very truly I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God unless they are born again.” – John 3:3

          And this one was very much true too. I was behaving like a little kid after July 12, 2014 and it was extremely childish, lasting for about two years:

          And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children,you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” – Matthew 18:3

          Finally this one:

          “Neither shall they say, Lo here! or, lo there! for, behold, the kingdom of God is within you.” – Luke 17:21

          Even though Jesus was born as a Jew, these verses do not sound Jewish at all. 🙂 Apparently, these gospels are written down a century later after Jesus died and most part of the Bible probably doesn’t reflect what Jesus actually spoke. But the above three verses stand out, revealing that Jesus’s teachings were a lot different from what modern Christian denominations believe in.


  6. mr.shanmugam anyone who wants to know about spritual subject matter should receive such knowledge from bonafied sampradays like ramanujacharya, madvacharya, and goudia sampradaya. one should not speculate about spiritual life. self realisation is the ultimate perfection of human form of life and should be gradually practised under the guidance and instructions of guru and Lord.Krishna. i read all your blogs and your experiences and you admit that you are falible not only you but every human being are falible in this world. so how can a falible humanbeing can understand about the absolute truth by his own endevour and efforts?

    and not whimcycley.

    my email id is arunrama2008@gmail.com


  7. Mr.shanmugam it is a fact that everybody is imperfect and our knowledge is limited. So with your limited knowledge how you can share your life experience and incomplete knowledge to others. No humanbeing in this world can understand about the inconceivable GOD and spiritual subject matter by his own efforts. Unless one sincerely follows the instructions of GOD in the form of Holy scriptures like bagavadgita, bible and kuran from bonafied spiritual master one cannot understand. You are just a poet earning your lively hood and enjoying life like worldly persons, what authority you have to speak on the spiritual subject matter. Before speaking spiritual subject matter one should aquire qualification. So what is the qualification?

    In Bagavadgita Lord Krishna says:
    Bg 4.28

    dravya-yajñās tapo-yajñā
    yoga-yajñās tathāpare
    svādhyāya-jñāna-yajñāś ca
    yatayaḥ saṁśita-vratāḥ

    Having accepted strict vows, some become enlightened by sacrificing their possessions, and others by performing severe austerities, by practicing the yoga
    of eightfold mysticism, or by studying the Vedas to advance in transcendental knowledge.

    The first qualification is sense control and for that one has to practice hosterities under the guidance of bonafied spiritual masters from bonafied sampradayas like sri, brahma madva goudia sampradaya. In this human form of life If one does not perform hosterities he is simply a animal.

    One should abstain from four sinful activities to practice spiritual life.

    Meat eating, intoxication including tea and coffee, illicit sex and gambling. Unless one who abstains from all these sinful activities under the guidance of spiritual master he is not fit to speak on the spiritual subject matter.

    This is the basic foundation principles of all bonafied religion like ten commandments given by St. mosses and original kuran and teachings of prophet in muslim religion. If one follows the instructions of holy scriptures under the guidance of bonafied spiritual masters from disciplic succession he is a fit candidate to speak on the spiritual subject matter otherwise he is just a cheater. You said that you don’t follow anybody but take from everybody what it feels better for you. How do you know whichis better for you?.

    “Bitter guard is bitter poison is also bitter. But if you don’t know which bitter taste is good then there is every chance that you may end up in taking poison”


  8. Hi,
    I came across your blog today while curiously searching about experiences people had with Isha foundation, mainly because I can associate with some of the things that Sadhguru says, but am skeptical of a few others. Also, it is difficult for me to accept that a good guru would come across as arrogant or rude (as he does in some of his videos); not that I was seeking him as a guru in the first place. I attend a talk of his with a friend and was put off by the marketing of all the programs and the volunteers who try to convince you to sign up for them.
    Anyway I wanted to say that I enjoyed a few posts and youtube videos of yours that I got to explore so far, and pretty impressed by how well read you appear to be. I am on a spiritual journey myself (although not as dedicated as I wish to be in my meditation practice), and lately have been drawn to Buddhism, and in that a particular secular variety that tends to focus more on the path/practice and less on the rituals (as I have an aversion to rituals, may be because of what I have seen blind belief in pujas and prayers does to my relatives. I was born a Hindu. Buddhism in traditional settings has similar trappings of rituals). Based on the description of your realization, it appears you may have experienced what Buddhists call a ‘stream enterer’ (not too certain). Given your avid interest in reading and exploring different aspects of spirituality, I wanted to suggest exploring the talks of a few buddhist monks if it might be of interest or use to you. The buddhist group is “Buddhist Society of Western Australia” (BSWA). The monks and nuns whose talks of the suttas and other buddhist concepts that I enjoy are those of Ajahn Brahmali, Ajahn Sujato, Ajahn Vayyama. They also have talks on early buddhism which gives a very good idea on historical background and contexts of their different texts.
    I will continue to explore your blog. Thank you for sharing your experience and knowledge. Wish you the best.


  9. Dear sister, you told that you are practicing meditation that is good. What is the purpose of your meditation?. As a intelligent person one should know about the goal of any process., if the goal of any process is for material enjoyment and benefit then such process is not spiritual.


  10. Hello SHANMUGAM,
    I am Bindu Raj Khanal from Nepal. I am avid follower of Osho and Sadh-Guru. I started to follow your blog recently as one of my friend emailed me your small book, “Is Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev a conman”. I couldn’t stop reading and completed in one seating. I even take a day leave to repeat the book during hectic schedule. I am an academician and researcher by profession. I work in Development and Planning, Public Policy formulation, Resource and Environmental Economics and Governance and Faculty in one of leading Business School of Nepal. More precisely I am political Economist. As I completed few more articles in your blog, I cant stop myself to develop, a zeal, to meet you. I wanna keep in touch, talk and learn from you. Hope we will have time in future when we will make up to it.
    Bindu Raj Khanal


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